I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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