just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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