You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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