The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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