Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
