sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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