I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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