My underwear smells like fireworks.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think I sprained my soul last night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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