Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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