Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
