I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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