i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
