The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
