I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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