the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
