you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
