At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize