I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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