Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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