her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
