hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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