i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
