You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
