Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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