the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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