found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
