Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This is my gift to your gina
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
