Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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