Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just come out here and I will go home with you...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
