btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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