Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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