wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
