I hate your face
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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