there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
