Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
