I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
