And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
