Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
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I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
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The feeling are messing with the penis
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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