Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
