Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
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It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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