I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
