the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize