Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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