carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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