Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize