wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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