i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
