Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing

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(313): oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing http://tfl.nu/2oov

Replies (4) Good night (1934) Bad night (773)
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(209): View more from California

Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?

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(209): Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese? http://tfl.nu/1zro

Replies (53) Good night (3581) Bad night (785)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.

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(724): i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud. http://tfl.nu/ruob

Replies (32) Good night (7234) Bad night (1097)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"

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(479): the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is" http://tfl.nu/kt8o

Replies (11) Good night (2697) Bad night (1014)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?

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(507): security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs? http://tfl.nu/7ki8

Replies (5) Good night (2523) Bad night (1023)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself

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(706): I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself http://tfl.nu/6gni

Replies (15) Good night (1541) Bad night (614)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome

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(832): Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome http://tfl.nu/hrea

Replies (4) Good night (2612) Bad night (666)
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(772): View more from Florida

Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting

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(772): Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting http://tfl.nu/dlj4

Replies (2) Good night (1055) Bad night (607)
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(917): View more from New York City

bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.

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(917): bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was. http://tfl.nu/th2f

Replies (3) Good night (2308) Bad night (566)
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(916): View more from California

Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?

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(916): Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night? http://tfl.nu/oh7z

Replies (5) Good night (1962) Bad night (796)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.

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(215): It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life. http://tfl.nu/9g4v

Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (675)
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(941): View more from Florida

So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.

(941): View more from Florida

I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.

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(941): So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar. (941): I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/b83h

Replies (4) Good night (683) Bad night (790)
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(646): View more from New York

I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea

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(646): I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea http://tfl.nu/a1ln

Replies (7) Good night (518) Bad night (761)
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(316): View more from Kansas

She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.

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(316): She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior. http://tfl.nu/1ryz

Replies (0) Good night (509) Bad night (356)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason

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(519): You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason http://tfl.nu/2fdr

Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (238)

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