He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.