put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.