Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
