I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
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Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
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The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.