Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.

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  (323): Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch. http://tfl.nu/9pbk
  Replies (29) Good night (2068) Bad night (667)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?

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  (304): remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night? http://tfl.nu/z8ke
  Replies (22) Good night (8881) Bad night (1218)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?

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  (304): ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to? http://tfl.nu/yov7
  Replies (25) Good night (1039) Bad night (2831)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.

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  (217): Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself. http://tfl.nu/hfdh
  Replies (12) Good night (1047) Bad night (7309)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.

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  (325): Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms. http://tfl.nu/9ede
  Replies (8) Good night (3586) Bad night (908)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.

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  (256): I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies. http://tfl.nu/fekw
  Replies (4) Good night (673) Bad night (1253)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.

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  (817): I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream. http://tfl.nu/kzw3
  Replies (16) Good night (693) Bad night (2131)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties

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  (519): I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there (905): Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties http://tfl.nu/lxma
  Replies (4) Good night (1470) Bad night (1073)
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  (914): View more from New York

  There is an alarming amount of urine in here.

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  (914): There is an alarming amount of urine in here. http://tfl.nu/rii0
  Replies (5) Good night (374) Bad night (830)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I can't turn off my feet"

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  (419): I can't turn off my feet" http://tfl.nu/fr6o
  Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (366)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"

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  (978): maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk" http://tfl.nu/jf8r
  Replies (4) Good night (408) Bad night (504)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.

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  (318): Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27. http://tfl.nu/0qjv
  Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (350)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.

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  (606): My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite. http://tfl.nu/zym2
  Replies (2) Good night (937) Bad night (256)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I put a zucchini in my pussy for you

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  (325): I put a zucchini in my pussy for you http://tfl.nu/c2jl
  Replies (8) Good night (575) Bad night (765)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter

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  (541): He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter http://tfl.nu/mn2b
  Replies (5) Good night (884) Bad night (275)

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