Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
