Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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