why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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