If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
