I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize