time to smoke my breakfast
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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