what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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