So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
