His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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