trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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