Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I want to be your penis for a week.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
